By: Sidney Lungu
In 1999 I
wanted to join the Zambian army.
I
was dropped on the day of departure without any reason, and this caused me to be
suspect of the possibility that I might be HIV/AIDS positive. (An HIV
/AIDS test is compulsory when you want to join the Zambian army) Everything changed immediately when results came
from the hospital. I tested positive of the deadly virus.
In 2000 I went to college where I was studying
Agriculture Mechanics. I got very sick. My friends kept telling me to go for
a HIV/ AIDS test, because of the many problems I was having, such as my deformed
finger nails; painful bones; constant cough; diarrhea, along with other body
problems. Staying at the college created many challenges. The college was far away from my closest relatives.
And I was
bothered with a question: Who is going to bury me If I die?
I decided to go to church, though I was a backslider. I
backslid because I was bitter towards God. I felt that God failed to heal my two sisters and
my
brother
who died within the period
of three years. They all died from HIV/ AIDS related problems. I had
no problem with my immediate elder sister's
sickness, but the third sister from me -- I remember blaming her for the sickness as
her fault because she was a prostitute. I wish I had not blamed her for that.
I was seated at the back of a very big church.
The preacher was busy preaching. I do not remember the message very
well because
there was a lot going on in my mind at that time. The message finished
without my
getting anything from it. Immediately when the preacher left the
pulpit, a
gentleman went up front. I heard every word that man said. "There is
somebody who is going
through body pains, including diarrhea and coughing. This is full blown
AIDS.
God is saying this disease is not leading to death, but that the glory
of God
may be seen in this. Let such a one come up front.”
I did not go up front because of
the stigma
and discrimination attached to HIV/ AIDS. Fear and pride kept me from
going.
When time came for me to go to college,
I struggled ... until I searched for that same man. When I found him, he said,
"Yes, you
are the one." He asked me what my plans were. Because he was with a
pastor friend, I told him I was planning to have an HIV/AIDS test done. If found
positive, he recommended I come out in the open and advocate for positive living with HIV/AIDS.
They counseled me on how to do it in a Christian way. Then I left for college.
It was towards our final
examination in August 2001 - I went to Copper Belt province
of Zambia where I had some relatives, and no one was ready to stay with me
because of my condition. I remember my elder brother commenting on someone who
appeared HIV, advocating for positive living with HIV/ AIDS. My
brother's response was: “He is positive alright. Positively dying!"
It was very tough for me. I decided to stay by myself in a one of the compounds. There I
got very sick to the point of death.
One day I decided to have a HIV/ AIDS test at
a nearby clinic. The test came came out HIV positive. This was February 2002. I was asked by
the Home Based Care Centre to help sensitization of HIV/AIDS patients.
I worked for four
months, then left for Eatern Province where my mum said, “My son, you have lost a
lot of weight. What is wrong? Let’s hope that you have not come back here to be
buried just as your siblings.”
I said, "Ahh - no mum."
I went to my small house and laid down there. I could
see where they were seated; hear what they were saying. I heard mum talking to
her younger sister and some other ladies who came to visit. ”He died a very
young man” ... implying I was also dying just like my two
sisters and brother.
Inside the house on my own mat, I started wondering,
Does she know that I am HIV positive?
I could not stay with my brother and mom any
longer. I left for Chipata town. I started renting. One day I decided to open up
to my good friend about my status. He said nothing much. His concern
was about the lady I was planning to have a family with. I told him I would
disclose my status to her when the right time came.
My good friend was also going through some challenges.
His job was terminated, so we were engaged in a lot of drinking and drug
abuse.
One day during one of the HIV/AIDS workshops, I disclosed my HIV/AIDS
status, and one lady who happened to know me and the family of the lady I wanted
to marry -- she broke the news to them.
When the workshop was over, my
fiancé asked if we could meet as usual. I agreed. When I saw her she was not
herself. I knew that something was bothering her because her eyes were swollen. When I
inquired, she told me that she was told about my HIV/AIDS status. I told
her that I was not trying to hide it from her but I hadn't quite known how to break
the news to her.
She told me how she came to know of my status and how the
family had decided on the matter -- that they wanted her to go to school and have no
more relationship between the two of us. She told me how the family wanted to know if we
had sex before. She answered, "No." When I asked her why she didn’t tell the truth,
she told me that she was afraid of the consequences.
As she was telling me all
this, in my mind ... I was thinking:
This is my last day on this earth. I will take my
life. But I told her to go for an HIV/AIDS
test as well so she could know. We parted around 6:00 p.m.
Soon thereafter I received a call from a friend saying that we should meet.
My plan was to throw myself in front of a moving vehicle after drinking and
smoking so that people would think it was an accident.
That night we began drinking, but I never got drunk. When I shared to my good friend that
my relationship with my fiance had been broken off, he could not handle it.
And because he was so upset by hearing the sad news, I decided not to tell him
of my plan to commit suicide.
The area where I was staying was very dangerous. You could
not walk a distance of 200 metres without meeting with deadly thugs.
Between 1 - 2 a.m. I decided to walk to my house, which was about 2km along the Tamac-road, called
Great East road, which goes to Malawi. Amazingly, I walked to my room and met neither thug
nor vehicle at that suicidal hour.
The next morning, around 8 a.m., I heard a
knock on my door. When I opened it, there stood my fiancé. She gave me a letter.
It was addressed to me. It read: Dear
Mulamu (brother in law). As a family we believe and will stand with you
in this situation. Doubting God is as bad as witchcraft. So can you come for prayers? I broke down in tears
because I had almost taken my life night the night before.
When I reached the elder
brother of my fiancé, he sat with
me to counsel me. His question was obvious. He wanted to know if we
had shared sex. I answered him, "No,"
because
I didn’t want to complicate issues.
I was prayed for that very moment. The
feeling that I got from that experience was powerful. The body pains that I had
disappeared. Instantly I felt lighter and good.
He asked me to go for another
HIV/AIDS test, which I was not ready to do because it was not yet time.
I started
avoiding the family of my fiancé. I felt like they were putting too much pressure
on me.
One day my fiancé
invited me to attend a revival meeting at her church,
because her father has a ministry. Someone was preaching that day.
Bricks and planks were used as chairs. I was sitting in a corner
of the structure. The preacher‘s message was: "God is the same
yesterday, today
and tomorrow. What God did in the past, He is doing
now and He will do
tomorrow."
The
preacher got my attention when he said, "Nowadays we have lifted HIV/AIDS
above
the name of God, as though He can't heal us of this terrible disease. That
is wrong because He surely can!" I felt a connection to that preacher
-- such that
before he could finish his sermon ... I was already on the altar!
I do not remember the hand of
the preacher touching me, but I could see a hand which was not human touching my
forehead. Also, behind me were stretched hands towards me which were
like the one on my forehead.
Immediately I fell into these hands.
I was made to lay down on something that felt like a mattress.
Then I
heard voice inside me saying,
“I want the glory for
what I did.”
I replied, "For what? “Healing me of HIV/AIDS?"
He answered, "What
I did
in you. Tomorrow go for an HIV /AIDS test."
I tried to reason with Him. "Why don’t you allow
me to gain weight, as that will make sense
when I talk about it in the open?"
The same voice said, “I say
go be tested tomorrow!
Go!. The
way you look at things is not the same way I do."
That was the end of the
discussion. He also commanded me not to say anything to anyone before the test.
Remember, people in the physical were observing me crying and rolling to and
fro. Some thought I had broken one of my body parts because I was rolling on
top of the bricks and planking. I finally stood up -- shook the dirt off my clothes
-- sat
without any sign of pain of injury. People were waiting to see If I would
go limp.
At midnight God visited me
again in my room. He took me to the Book of Acts, chapter 12. I never went to sleep again.
Monday I went to the clinic. I looked for a psycho–social counselor
but there was no one. I waited for a while. Finally a counselor arrived. I told
the counselor why I wanted to do a test. He made me fill out a form. I wrote in the reasons
why I wanted to do the test. I wanted to know if God had healed me.
Several minutes after taking
the blood samples, he called me in for results. The way he was acting, I
felt the
results we still going to be the same: AIV positive
still.
I heard a voice
inside me saying, "Whatever comes out of this will give God the glory."
The
counselor said ... "Sir - very few people of your age group are HIV negative so
congratulations. You are HIV/ AIDS
negative! I cried
... then shared with the
counselor all of what had happened.
He give me the test results and the official form stating
I was no longer an AIDs victim. I took it to my father-in-law. He hung
his head low and cried. I went back after three months and again was
tested. Again the results came out
negative.
Why,
me, I wondered?
I had been so bitter at God for not healing my two sisters and my brother of AIDS. This is what
God said to me later: "I healed you
because I want to heal many other sisters and brothers through you."
I now live to testify of what the Lord has done to me.
I believe many have questions. I will be in position to answer some of the
questions in the book that I am writing: HIV/AIDS - WHERE IS YOUR STING?
I believe God has a lot of lives He's going to touch from this deathly HIV/AIDS virsus
He healed me of.
I am Zambian, currently living in
Botswana. I am a father of two sons.
God is using me as an international speaker and author.
Forums in which I displayed my public speaking ability include school systems,
churches, business and farmers conferences and families. These are the
different catagories of topics I speak about:
1. POLITICAL
2. HUMANITARIAN
3. AGRICULTURE
4. HEALTH
5. FAMILIES
6. EDUCATION
7. SUPERNATURAL
I want so much for my book to be
ready by the end of this year. Its purpose is to share the glory of God
for what He has done for me and to help encourage others to trust God for
their healing so that they TOO
will glorify God. By the first of December 2012 if possible. I am
asking God for financial assistance from any well wishers for the book to be
ready by then. Once the book is published, I'll share how people can
obtain a copy of it.
I can
be contacted at:
sidneylungu@yahoo.com
JESUS DID IT!
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