8 reasons why men cheat - revealed

With the explosion of websites encouraging affairs, technology is making it easier for those in relationships to stray. It's been reported that 56 per cent of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. So why do they do it? We went undercover to find out...

Excuse 1

'It's my star sign.'

I think I'm a pretty good guy. But I'm a Gemini and that hasn't boded well for me. There's been a secret side to me for as long as I can remember. I've often thought about, or even done, things that I would never tell my wife, friends, or anyone. I keep secrets – and cheating is one of them. It's part of who I am and I can't change that. Pete, 35, NSW

Excuse 2

'I'm doing it for her.'

Like so many marriages, mine became stale. It was just a businesslike arrangement to raise the kids. I loved my wife, but in a friendly kind of way. Life should be more than that. So I cheated and now I'm happier than ever, and I'm bringing that happiness home. It's helped my marriage. Would I be hurt if I caught my wife having an affair? Of course, but she should have the sense to keep it confidential
like I will continue to do. Jason, 33, Qld

Excuse 3

'My wife made me.'

My wife knew I was unhappy. We talked about our marriage and she agreed we needed to work at it. There are some big changes we need to make and being more intimate is one of them. But we both work and simply haven't had the time.
So I've gone about changing things in another way. I joined an affairs website. It's only a temporary thing until we get things back on track but until then it's something
I've had to do. Josh, 27, Qld

Excuse 4

'The spice was gone.'

I have been married to my wife for over 20 years. Our marriage wasn't bad. We weren't on the rocks and I was pretty satisfied. But the spice was gone. Then I found an affairs website. When I signed up I never thought I'd do anything about it but I got some messages and I thought I'd meet a woman, just to see. Since then I have had a couple
of affairs. I'm flattered there are still women out there who find me attractive. I love my wife and I wouldn't give up my family, but the excitement I've found makes me feel so good. John, 46, Vic

Excuse 5

'I can't help it.'

Before I met my wife I was a player but I gave all that up when we got together. I was faithful for three years, but I don't think I'm the type that can be with one woman. I don't want anything too complicated, which is why signing up to an affairs website worked for me. On those sites everybody knows the score. I want to stay with my wife, but it's good to have a few other options too. Mark, 25, WA

Excuse 6

'We married too young.'

My wife and I dated when we were at school and I think we got married too young. I hadn't experienced all there is to life before settling down. I've been using an affairs website on and off for three years now. I can be with women from different backgrounds, and I find that so exciting. I see so many women on the site who are in similar situations to me – the spark has gone from their marriage. Their husbands don't pay them enough attention. Meeting up with these women is a win-win situation for us all. Tony, 36, NSW

Excuse 7

'It's too difficult to get divorced.'

My wife and I have been together for over seven years. I knew a year before I got married I shouldn't go ahead with it but due to family and money issues, I did. When I saw an affairs website on a TV show I decided I would try it out for fun. I just wanted to see what it was about and maybe get some attention. But I found someone through it and fell for her. We have a real relationship… but she's married as well. Now it's easier to continue with the life I have than rock the boat and get divorced. Chris, 38, Vic

Excuse 8

'It de-stresses me.'

I love my wife. We've been married for over 10 years and we have two wonderful kids. Everything is perfect except in the bedroom. I travel a lot for work, so I'm able to satisfy this part of my life by cheating. I have meetings with women I've met online, and I have some regular women I see in the cities I visit for work. These liaisons make me a better husband and dad as I'm not so stressed. I can focus on the parts of my marriage which are very fulfilling. Matt, 42, NSW

Did you know?

40 per cent of Australian women admit to checking their partner's mobile for flirty texts.

Trust your intuition!

Research suggests that women are able to judge how likely a man is to stray simply by studying his face. In a 2012 study, volunteers were shown the head shots of a range of male strangers and a significant number were able to pick those men in the group who had a history of cheating. In contrast, men who were given a similar task were poor at picking out the women who had a history of cheating. Relationship experts suggest that women who think their man might be cheating can look out for the following telltale signs of infidelity:

Intimacy issues If he's getting some loving from elsewhere, chances are he'll be pulling back in the bedroom.

Mobile magnetism Won't let his phone out of his sight?
If he's overly protective about who's calling him then beware.

Talkaholic When someone feels uncomfortable, they often gush about things to make up for it. If your partner's conversation style changes dramatically, it's possible they're hiding something.

Work calls Late nights in the office are most likely harmless, but if the love of your life is suddenly extremely unavailable, it may be time to wonder why.

Friend freeze-out Men often confide in their mates, so if your bloke's friends start acting strangely around you, it's possible they're hiding a secret.

Trust your gut Don't ignore your sixth sense! Women are gifted at sensing when something isn't right so don't be afraid to trust your instincts!

Originally published in that's life! issue 19 2014, cover date 15 May 2014